There will be no school in Hopkins County on Thursday, March 5. Winter Storm Warning in effect until Thursday, 6:00 AM CST. Source: U.S. National Weather Service.
Davis Motor Sales banner ad

davesays300 greenKENTUCKY (7/21/13) – This week Dave discusses Getting the guilt trip and Wants aren’t emergencies.
 
Dear Dave,
My parents have always had financial problems, and they recently lost their home. They have a place to live, but since that time my father has been asking me for money. He calls me over to talk about this when my mother isn’t there and my husband isn’t home. He’s even asked for half of a $150,000 inheritance I received from my grandparents. He’s really making me feel guilty, and I’m not sure what to do. - Elena

Dear Elena,
Your brain knows what to do, but your heart is having a hard time doing it. Your father is a manipulator, and we’re not going to let that pattern continue. There’s nothing wrong with doing a few, short-term things to help them get back on their feet. But in return, you should expect them to change the behaviors that have put them in this situation.

Also, there should be no more private meetings with your father. If he wants to talk, make sure he understands it will be with your husband and mother present. To this point all of his schemes have been on the side, and this needs to be brought out into the open and stopped. You love your parents. That, along with your dad’s behavior, is what’s making this so difficult. But participating in this sort of thing isn’t going to help them. You take away a person’s dignity when you subsidize them permanently. You also change their status and their ability to stand on their own two feet.

Any help you give needs to be short-term in nature—a gift. You and your husband should be in agreement on exactly what you’re going to do, and it should be on your terms. Don’t get involved in giving them money every month for the rest of their lives just because they had you. That’s not how this works. There’s an ongoing sense of entitlement here that needs to be nipped in the bud! - Dave
 
Dear Dave,
My husband and I are trying to improve our financial situation by following your plan. We were wondering where home improvements fall in the Baby Steps. - Emily

Dear Emily,
Unless you’re talking about an emergency situation, home improvements would fall into the category of wants, not needs. If you’d like new carpet, nicer windows or an updated kitchen, these things need to wait until after you’ve completed the first three Baby Steps.

Let’s review. Baby Step 1 means saving up $1,000 in the bank for a starter emergency fund. Baby Step 2 is paying off all debts except for your home. The third Baby Step is going back to your emergency fund and building it up so you have an amount equal to three to six months of expenses in case something goes wrong.

Once you’ve gotten to this point, you’ll be able to save and do some other things, including a few home improvements! - Dave

* Dave Ramsey is America’s trusted voice on money and business. He’s authored four New York Times best-selling books: Financial Peace, More Than Enough, The Total Money Makeover and EntreLeadership. The Dave Ramsey Show is heard by more than 6 million listeners each week on more than 500 radio stations. Follow Dave on Twitter at @DaveRamsey and on the web at daveramsey.com.
 

Disclaimer: The content supplied by columnists and letters to the Editor on this site does not in any way, shape or form, implied or otherwise, necessarily express or suggest endorsement or support of any of such content, statement, or opinions therein. SurfKY News does not necessarily adhere to or endorse content provided by outside non-staff sources.

© Copyright 2015 SurfKY News Group, Inc. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or rewritten without permission. SurfKY News encourages you to share this story on social media.

Posted on 2/2/14
springhour
3/13 - 16
1 DOW 18,096.90
-106.47 (-0.58%)    
2 S&P 2,098.53
-9.25 (-0.44%)    
3 NASDAQ 4,967.14
-12.76 (-0.26%)    
3/13 - 16

Most Read This Week

March 02, 2015 9206

Madisonville Teen Faces Numerous Drug Charges

in Local (Hopkins) Top News by Madisonville Police Department/Hopkins County Detention Center
February 25, 2015 8463

Multi-Agency Investigation Nets Large-Scale Meth…

in Top News For All Sites by Trooper Stu Recke
February 24, 2015 8256

Two Charged in Central City Meth Bust

in Local (Muhlenberg) Top News by Trooper Stu Recke
February 25, 2015 6351

New Asian Restaurant Coming to Madisonville

in Local (Hopkins) Top News by Gary Gates, SurfKY News
February 24, 2015 5578

School Board Holding Special Called Meeting

in Muhlenberg News by Sherri Miller
March 03, 2015 5293

Three Arrested during Traffic Stop

in Local (Hopkins) Top News by Madisonville Police Department/Hopkins County Detention Center

Most Read This Month

February 12, 2015

UPDATE: Name of Pennyrile Fatality Officially…

in Top News For All Sites Touching Hopkins by Doreen Dennis, SurfKY News
February 09, 2015

Police Pursue Man after Fight at Taco Bell

in Local (Hopkins) Top News by Madisonville Police Department/Hopkins County Detention Center

Stories Trending Today

March 03, 2015 5293

Three Arrested during Traffic Stop

in Local (Hopkins) Top News by Madisonville Police Department/Hopkins County Detention Center
March 03, 2015 3335

Sacramento Man Charged with Rape, Sodomy

in Local (Muhlenberg) Top News by Charles W. Riley II, SurfKY News
March 03, 2015 2324

Madisonville Man Charged for Robbery in Greenville

in Top News For All Sites Touching Hopkins by Greenville Police Department
March 03, 2015 2308

Superintendent: Spring Break Won't be Touched…

in Hopkins News by Tammy Holloway, SurfKY News
March 03, 2015 1488

Madisonville Police Arrest Reports - March 3, 2015

in Hopkins News by Madisonville Police Department
March 03, 2015 1321

Baptist Health Madisonville Now Offering…

in Hopkins News by Kristy Quinn
March 03, 2015 1310

SHMS Dance Team Places in State Championship

in Hopkins News by South Hopkins Middle School
March 03, 2015 1281

Militant Crazy Religion, Avoid the Damage

in General News For All Sites by Dr. Glenn Mollette
March 03, 2015 1254

Local Students Place in Stanley Lewis Cultural…

in Hopkins News by Joyce Riggs
March 03, 2015 1204

SurfKY News Exclusive: John Conlee Talks of 40…

in Local (Muhlenberg) Top News by Paul McRee, SurfKY News