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fantasy football1WEBSTER COUNTY, KY (11/1/12)  Sky-rocketing to the top of his ‘gifted and talented’ class, “BTE” Caldwell County Chapter CEO (chief entertainment officer) “Toddler” Griffin kicked through a week full of upsets to post a 7-3 card to claim the Week 9 crown. Fulfilling his yearly wish of a “BTE” crown and bragging rights at the Times-Leader, “Toddler” will return to his office at Chucky Cheese, firing spit-wads at screaming 4-year-olds from his secret position from behind the big dancing bear! Like shooting fish in a barrel baby!

‘Expert’ Charlie ‘the Brain’ had the only other 7-3 in the contest. His only comment ... “we don’t lower our standards on upset week, so up yours!” Ouch!

A huge wad of 6-4 players were dodging more questions than Barry O on the campaign trail. “I have no comment, next question” for Virginia ‘Hoosier Baby’ Jenkins, Doug ‘Double D’ Dennis, Adam “Junior” Goodaker, Ralph “In HD” Sharp, ‘Smokin’ Joe Campbell, Clint ‘No Mo Jo’ Thornberry, Susan ‘Soup’ Campbell, and our favorite law dude/secret agent Kent ‘Muscles’ Boswell. He hopes to one day clone himself ...offspring will be called bicep and tricep ... cute little steroid sippy cups not included.

Do these 6-4 picks make me look fat screams Phillip ‘Hot Tub’ Teer ... well, maybe just a bit chubby ... throw a little jelly on that muffin top!

Don’t be a hater just because you landed in the 5-5 pile. Our best advice to T. Chris ‘Boy’ George, George ‘the Waffle Legend’ Pirtle, ‘Professor’ Goodaker and Keith ‘Storm Chaser’ Cartwright. ‘Bam Bam’ Peercy was a little ‘red’ after her 5-5 showing last week.

‘Guest Expert’ and three-time winner Bobby ‘Tank’ Gibson has lots of explaining to do with his 4-6 performance while ‘Expert’ Greg the ‘Ninja’ also is wondering if anyone got the license plate number on that 4-6 bus that ran him over. Oh wait, just a 97-year-old grandma on a speeding ‘rascal’ making a break from the ‘home’! We warned you about trying to make the big bucks taking those glamour shots at the senior citizens prom! I’ll have my 3-7 sandwich on a seseme-seed bun says Jorge ‘Billy Bob’ Tauil. Did you chose these picks on purpose or is it some kind of weird Homeland Security experiment. Yeah, let’s go with that!

‘Knife’ .. hey ‘Knife’ what happened ... 3-7! Stay with us now ... one more week of this ‘funny ball’ stuff and then we can move on to the high-priced hoop stars. Hey, that’s store policy!

The ‘Knife’ is a tad-bit lonely ... seems ‘Skeeter’ Duncan has been AWOL the past week ... still chasing his dream of being a super-hero ... out looking for that nasty cereal killer! Wow, those skin-tight bibs made of investment grade corduroy might give you a rash .. or start a forest fire ... all that friction! Every step sounds like a government drone overhead ... that needs a bit of engine work! Zzzzzzip-zzzzzip-zzzzzzip! ‘Skeeter’ ... stop that stinging now!

Grand Championship time kiddies! Final week to claim your share of fame and fortune!

Get those picks in ... This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it , fax 270-667-9160.

Ballard Memorial @ Hancock
Butler County @ Caldwell Co.
Texas @ Texas Tech
Oregon @ USC
Texas A&M @ Mississippi St.
Alabama @ LSU
Denver @ Cincinnati
Tampa Bay @ Oakland
Minnesota @ Seahawks
tiebreaker: Vanderbilt@Kentucky>

The Real Guru

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