this week with an 8-2 prescription and a near-perfect tie-breaking score. By doctors orders, she has to wear a mouthpiece while making picks, just to prevent further injury.
Just a brief bio on little 'Miss Bruise'. She's traveled this great country searching for the perfect job, recently landed in Cincinnati where she was honored by the Bengals during pre-game ceremonies, singing the Canadian National Anthem in Spanish. Now that's talent.
Bumped into Erin Andrews on the way out of the stadium, did a quick fox trot followed by a electrifying tango just to prove "she was the real Dancing with the Star", then headed out to the parking lot to tailgate with her fans. Yeah baby, just like a mullet hair cut .... business up front and party in the back. Last seen in South Bend interviewing for the soon to be vacant Irish head coaching job. FYI: we think she may have dabbled in witchcraft in high school. Oh my! He thought the days of being beaten up by girls had stopped. Nope, not the case for Alan 'Karate Kid' Banks. His 8-2 brought him hope, but certainly no change ... his tiebreaking score was a little short. Still living in that 'black hole of Bison droppings' just hoping one day to be recognized for his hip-hop music talents. Standing on the corner in front of LP Stadium in Nashville with a boon-box and slightly stained cardboard 'dance floor' chanting "I am Sir-Picks-A-Lot" and hitting the deck for a head spin. It's sad ... a 6-foot-6 white guy trying to break dance while his gold chains keep banging him in the face.
Two other 8-2 pickers last week, Jacob 'the Gipper' Knight and 'Expert' Greg 'Ninja' Pirtle, last seen hitting the links in Mississippi wearing his Dale Jr. sunglasses and a nifty coin changer on his belt. Actually that's standard issue on the golf course for 'Ninja', grey-hair linksters just nickle-and-dime him to death.
A whole wad of 7-3 pickers including Doug 'Double D' Dennis, Keith 'Storm Chaser' Cartwright, Ralph 'D1' Sharp, and a man who once played two-hand-touch with Bill Clinton, David 'Miguel' Brown. We sure hope that was a football game. (We chose to implement the Don't Ask Don't Tell policy at this point). How about Andrew 'Mountain Man' Hudson who was briefly detained by a West Virginia state trooper when he went ballistic at a hardware store recently. Seems he was going to paint his boat, picked up a couple of gallons of paint and they didn't include the stir stick with his purchase. "Hey, that's state law!" he kept shouting.
Check out the Teer boys ... Forrest 'Rambo' and Phillip 'Hot Tub' ... the Starsky and Hutch of 7-3 picking. Not bad for guys who still have Joe Namath on their Fantasy Football team. 'Rambo' just needs to set his goals a little higher ... it's called Beat the Experts ... not 'Match the Experts'. We might have to setup a new password and login for him. Last seen walking his dog (part yellow lab, part crime lab) around the Robards zoo, just hoping someone one would toss him a winning pick or two.
One more 7-3 player still running Black Ops while escorting a couple of burley girls from Jersey Shore to see the Cats taken apart by Auburn ... Kent 'Muscles' Boswell. 'The Brain' lawyered-up and would not comment on his 7-3 while Guest Expert 'Toddler' Griffin OD'ed on spam over the weekend when he realized his precious photo-booth shots of him kissing Lindsey Lohan were actually police mug shots. Tragic!
Topping the 6-4 list is newly engaged Clinton 'Big Mo' Thornberry, Steve 'Florida Boy' Posey, Tank 'Comeback Kid' Gibson (still trying to strip winning picks from behind during the tackle) and 'Experts' Connie '007' Etherington and Mack 'the Knife'.
Don't worry, 'the Knife' still has a smile on his face while chomping-away on baby carrots and Twinkies. As he always says ... they wouldn't put it on the salad bar if it wasn't good for ya!
Hey is that Shaun 'Little T' Townsend standing in front of the 6-4 Plus Size women's clothing store. Ouch, he's wearing a Dr. Chunky Love t-shirt. It's certainly not a "I Beat the Experts' tee ... don't see one in his future either. 'Tiny' Tim Sharp saw his glass half full (5-5) until Ralph drank the rest of it.
Week 6 excitement begins today, send those picks to
or fax to 667-9160. As always, broadcasting in almost 100 percent English, just a little Spanish lingo thrown in!
Union Co. @ Paducah Tilghman
Hancock Co. @ Owensboro Cath
Alabama @ South Carolina
LSU @ Florida
Western KY @ Fla. International
Tampa Bay @ Cincinnati
Green Bay @ Washington
Kansas City @ Indianapolis
New Orleans @ Arizona
Tiebreaker: Michigan State @ Michigan
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