KENTUCKY (8/25/13) - Enjoying a casual evening at home, I reclined in my favorite easy chair reading, while the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage was chatting on the telephone. I rarely pay attention to telephone conversations.
Then an odd phrase caught my attention: “plastic surgery.” My ears perked up and I heard my wife say, “I certainly agree with that article and I’m going to do some plastic surgery myself.”
You can imagine what thoughts raced through my head. When she hung up the telephone, I queried her about it.
“You do support me in this plastic surgery plan, don’t you?”
Nodding in the affirmative I assured her she had my full support in whatever she decided.
My motto is, “He who smiles and agrees with his spouse lives to smile another day.”
I plan to smile until the day I die.
Women, more than men, are a little sensitive about their appearance. For a man, “appearance” means he showed up. A woman has an altogether different approach to the term “appearance.”
Believe me; I never would have brought it up, but if that makes my wife happy, then whatever it costs, we can put it on a credit card. The only problem with putting something like this on a credit card is that by the time you pay it off you need another procedure.
She is worth it in my checkbook. I have no compunction whatsoever of writing out that check.
One day this week, I went to the Slurp N’ Burp Café for a quiet lunch. The issue was far from my mind as I enjoyed a delicious repast. As I finished my last cup of coffee, the waitress brought my bill and I pulled my wallet out to pay for it.
In searching my wallet for a credit card I discovered, much to my double chagrin, that there were no credit cards to be found. Somehow, I’d lost my credit cards. Perhaps, in the morning when I was getting dressed, they dropped out of my wallet as I was placing it in my trousers.
The problem with that theory was that all the other cards in my wallet were intact.
Fortunately, I had my cell phone and called my wife.
“Honey, I’ve lost all my credit cards. I’m here at the restaurant and I can’t find any credit cards in my wallet. Do you have any idea what I did with my credit cards?”
“I cut them all up.”
“You did what?”
“You said you supported my plastic surgery plan, didn’t you?”
“But, I thought...”
“You, thought what?”
Dear reader: please disregard the first part of this column. If you happen to read my obituary in next week’s newspaper, you will know that my lovely, vivacious, eternally youthful wife did not disregard the first part and I’m currently Resting In Pieces.
I must confess that my hearing is good; it is my understanding that falls so far short. The only exercise I am really good at is “jumping-to-conclusions.”
This is common among many people who call themselves Christians. Their hearing is good but their “doing,” is not up to par.
The apostle James understood this truth quite well. He writes, “But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves” James 1:22 (KJV).
It is not so much what you hear that pays dividends in life, but what you do.
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