dave says1KENTUCKY (12/15/13) – This week Dave discusses 'humility, gratitude and contentment' and 'not quite ready for a house.'

Dear Dave,
Do you have any advice for teaching responsibility and generosity to adult children and grandkids when it comes to money?
—Justin

Dear Justin,
I think there are three key factors when it comes to teaching children of any age about these concepts—humility, gratitude and contentment. In my mind, humility is where gratitude comes from, and gratitude leads to contentment.

I’m generous to my adult children, but they have no sense of entitlement. That’s due to their personal humility. They don’t feel that I owe them anything, and they already know that anyone who cops an entitlement attitude gets cut off. You’re no longer qualified for my generosity when you lose your gratitude.

You’ve got to spend time talking to kids about these things. Otherwise, you run the risk of them counting on the income. Here’s an example. We coach some family businesses at my company, and the best family businesses are the ones that teach non-employee family members who receive money from the business—dividends from the profits—never to live on those dividends. I’ve seen lots of cases where someone will start living on the business they don’t work in, and they immediately start feeling entitled to the money.

The same principle applies in your situation. If someone starts saying, “Well, since mom and dad are paying for our daycare, we can use that money we would have spent to buy a car.” That means they’ve started counting on mom and dad’s generosity to live, and that’s a form of entitlement mentality.

None of our kids receive any kind of financial help from us at all, unless they’re already carrying their weight in their own lives. That’s not being cold. It’s teaching responsibility and self-reliance. Now it would be different if one of them developed a serious medical issue or something like that. But the whole idea that mommy and daddy have lots of money, and I can just get some from them? That doesn’t fly in our family.

You have to teach them character and giving in order for them to be valid recipients. Plus, it’s all about the kids’ attitude. But you’ve got to talk about it often and communicate the value system out loud. The gifting and generosity are contingent upon the humility that leads to gratitude that leads to contentment.
—Dave

Dear Dave,
My wife and I just bought a business with cash. We had been living with my brother and sister-in-law while we saved up, and things are starting to get a bit cramped. My brother has offered to co-sign on a house for us, but rent is pretty cheap in this area. What do you think we should do?
—Peter

Dear Peter,
You need to forget about a house and plan on renting for a while. You just bought a business, and at this point you don’t even know if it’s going to be successful. Plus, if you need a co-signer to buy a house, car or anything else, it means you’re not financially ready for that purchase.
Take some time, maybe two or three years, to get your business up and running. Go find a decent, inexpensive place to rent then pay off any debt you have while saving up as much money as possible. I want you to have a nice house one day, Peter. But you’re just not ready now. A house should be a blessing, not a burden.
—Dave

Dave Ramsey is America’s trusted voice on money and business. He’s authored four New York Times best-selling books: Financial Peace, More Than Enough, The Total Money Makeover and EntreLeadership. The Dave Ramsey Show is heard by more than 6 million listeners each week on more than 500 radio stations. Follow Dave on Twitter at @DaveRamsey and on the web at daveramsey.com.

Disclaimer: The content supplied by columnists and letters to the Editor on this site does not in any way, shape or form, implied or otherwise, necessarily express or suggest endorsement or support of any of such content, statement, or opinions therein. SurfKY News does not necessarily adhere to or endorse content provided by outside non-staff sources.

LIKE SurfKY on Facebook - Click here to LIKE us now.

© Copyright 2015 SurfKY News Group, Inc. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or rewritten without permission. SurfKY News encourages you to share this story on social media.

Posted on 2/2/14
3/13 - 16
3/13 - 16

Most Read This Week

March 27, 2015 5334

Three Arrested during Execution of Search…

by Madisonville Police Department/Hopkins County Detention Center
March 25, 2015 5200

Fazoli's, Roses Coming to Madisonville

by Amber Averitt, SurfKY News
March 24, 2015 5021

One Dies, Another Injured in Mortons Gap Traffic…

by Deputy Heath Owens
March 25, 2015 4945

Grand Jury Finds No Criminal Wrongdoing in Bean…

by Doreen Dennis, SurfKY News
March 24, 2015 4156

UPDATE: One Injured in Hopkinsville Road Accident

by Doreen Dennis, SurfKY News
March 25, 2015 3906

Madisonville Man's Living Room Leap Lands Him in…

by Madisonville Police Department / Hopkins County Detention Center

Most Read This Month

March 09, 2015 13221

Multi-Agency Drug Bust Results in $1 Million Meth…

by KSP DESI
March 02, 2015 11485

Madisonville Teen Faces Numerous Drug Charges

by Madisonville Police Department/Hopkins County Detention Center

Stories Trending Today

March 27, 2015 5334

Three Arrested during Execution of Search…

by Madisonville Police Department/Hopkins County Detention Center
March 27, 2015 2302

MPD Searching for Man Accused of Nearly Running…

by Madisonville Police Department
March 27, 2015 2164

Family Loses Possessions, Dog in Sugg Street Fire

by Doreen Dennis, SurfKY News
March 28, 2015 1612

Young Child Dies in Princeton Fire

by Chris Rogers, KSP
March 27, 2015 1462

Hopkins Grand Jury Indictments Handed Down

by Karen McKnight
March 27, 2015 1327

Rehabber Explains Her Mission; Efforts Filmed by…

by Ron Sanders
March 27, 2015 1157

Hopkins County Health Department Food Scores Thru…

by Barry Franklin
March 27, 2015 1104

Madisonville Police Arrest Reports - March 27,…

by Madisonville Police Department
March 27, 2015 957

Utility Tax Petition Signatures Put Choice before…

by Charles W. Riley II, SurfKY News
March 27, 2015 944

Work Continues on Madisonville's Downtown Plaza

by Rita Dukes Smith, SurfKY News Director