dave says1KENTUCKY (12/15/13) – This week Dave discusses 'humility, gratitude and contentment' and 'not quite ready for a house.'

Dear Dave,
Do you have any advice for teaching responsibility and generosity to adult children and grandkids when it comes to money?
—Justin

Dear Justin,
I think there are three key factors when it comes to teaching children of any age about these concepts—humility, gratitude and contentment. In my mind, humility is where gratitude comes from, and gratitude leads to contentment.

I’m generous to my adult children, but they have no sense of entitlement. That’s due to their personal humility. They don’t feel that I owe them anything, and they already know that anyone who cops an entitlement attitude gets cut off. You’re no longer qualified for my generosity when you lose your gratitude.

You’ve got to spend time talking to kids about these things. Otherwise, you run the risk of them counting on the income. Here’s an example. We coach some family businesses at my company, and the best family businesses are the ones that teach non-employee family members who receive money from the business—dividends from the profits—never to live on those dividends. I’ve seen lots of cases where someone will start living on the business they don’t work in, and they immediately start feeling entitled to the money.

The same principle applies in your situation. If someone starts saying, “Well, since mom and dad are paying for our daycare, we can use that money we would have spent to buy a car.” That means they’ve started counting on mom and dad’s generosity to live, and that’s a form of entitlement mentality.

None of our kids receive any kind of financial help from us at all, unless they’re already carrying their weight in their own lives. That’s not being cold. It’s teaching responsibility and self-reliance. Now it would be different if one of them developed a serious medical issue or something like that. But the whole idea that mommy and daddy have lots of money, and I can just get some from them? That doesn’t fly in our family.

You have to teach them character and giving in order for them to be valid recipients. Plus, it’s all about the kids’ attitude. But you’ve got to talk about it often and communicate the value system out loud. The gifting and generosity are contingent upon the humility that leads to gratitude that leads to contentment.
—Dave

Dear Dave,
My wife and I just bought a business with cash. We had been living with my brother and sister-in-law while we saved up, and things are starting to get a bit cramped. My brother has offered to co-sign on a house for us, but rent is pretty cheap in this area. What do you think we should do?
—Peter

Dear Peter,
You need to forget about a house and plan on renting for a while. You just bought a business, and at this point you don’t even know if it’s going to be successful. Plus, if you need a co-signer to buy a house, car or anything else, it means you’re not financially ready for that purchase.
Take some time, maybe two or three years, to get your business up and running. Go find a decent, inexpensive place to rent then pay off any debt you have while saving up as much money as possible. I want you to have a nice house one day, Peter. But you’re just not ready now. A house should be a blessing, not a burden.
—Dave

Dave Ramsey is America’s trusted voice on money and business. He’s authored four New York Times best-selling books: Financial Peace, More Than Enough, The Total Money Makeover and EntreLeadership. The Dave Ramsey Show is heard by more than 6 million listeners each week on more than 500 radio stations. Follow Dave on Twitter at @DaveRamsey and on the web at daveramsey.com.

Disclaimer: The content supplied by columnists and letters to the Editor on this site does not in any way, shape or form, implied or otherwise, necessarily express or suggest endorsement or support of any of such content, statement, or opinions therein. SurfKY News does not necessarily adhere to or endorse content provided by outside non-staff sources.

e-max.it: your social media marketing partner

LIKE SurfKY on Facebook - Click here to LIKE us now.

© Copyright 2015 SurfKY News Group, Inc. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, or rewritten without permission. SurfKY News encourages you to share this story on social media.

Posted on 2/2/14
3/13 - 16
3/13 - 16

Most Read This Week

August 24, 2015 10580

Teen Reports Slasher Attempted to Attack Him on…

by Doreen Dennis, SurfKY News
August 24, 2015 5891

Alleged Burglar Calls 911 to Report Fire

by SurfKY News
August 22, 2015 4940

Hopkins County Grand Jury Indictments

by SurfKY News
August 24, 2015 4878

UPDATE: Four Dead, Two Survive Boating Accident

by SurfKY News
August 27, 2015 4113

All is Well after MNHHS Lockdown

by Doreen Dennis, SurfKY News

Most Read This Month

August 06, 2015 14805

Muhlenberg Woman Reportedly Suffers Violent…

by SurfKY News
August 24, 2015 10580

Teen Reports Slasher Attempted to Attack Him on…

by Doreen Dennis, SurfKY News

Stories Trending Now

August 27, 2015 4113

All is Well after MNHHS Lockdown

by Doreen Dennis, SurfKY News
August 27, 2015 1623

Kentucky Career Center Blood Drive Aug. 31

by SurfKY News
August 26, 2015 1193

Legislators Preview Election 2015

by KET
August 27, 2015 986

Madisonville Police Arrest Reports Released -…

by SurfKY News
August 27, 2015 973

Driver Injured after Swerving to Avoid Striking…

by Doreen Dennis, SurfKY News
August 28, 2015 598

Hopkins County Health Department Food Scores Thru…

by SurfKY News
August 27, 2015 564

Remember Alison Parker, Adam Ward Not the Killer

by SurfKY News
August 27, 2015 559

KSP Charges Jefferson County Man with Child…

by SurfKY News
August 27, 2015 494

Rep. Steve Riggs Challenges State, Local…

by SurfKY News
August 27, 2015 466

Jobless Rates down in 115 Kentucky Counties in…

by SurfKY News