KENTUCKY (7/7/13) - Last week my wife made a request of me. She said, "Honey ..." Whenever my wife begins a sentence with "Honey," I know I am in for a sticky situation.
Honey comes from bees and whenever she so addresses me, I know I be in trouble, and be sure there is a stinger in it for me - somewhere.
Looking out the window with her arms folded, which means she is thinking about some job around the house for Yours Truly, she said, "Honey, don't you think you should wash the car?"
It never fails to rain right after I wash the car and have to wash it all over again.
"You know, Dear," whenever a husband so addresses his wife, it always means he is trying to find some way out of doing her request, while making it sound like he wants to do it, "it's a wonderful idea but it looks like it might rain." The key to this point is to put on a grimace and look up in the sky, in a thoughtful frame of mind.
"Yes, I think I saw a raindrop. It won't be long now."
By Thursday, I forgot the car washing idea and was standing around our living room looking out the window. It seemed harmless enough.
Have you heard the old saying, "An idle husband is a wife's workhorse?"
I heard that familiar word, "Honey ..." And a streak of panic flowed through my body, freezing up every muscle I still had. "Honey, our car really needs a good washing."
Before I could clear my throat, she added a phrase no husband wants to hear. "Don't you agree?"
If I say, "No," I am in trouble.
If I say, "Yes," I am in trouble.
I am duped if I don’t and doped if I do. How is a husband to win with the odds so stacked against him?
With a feigned meekness that would make St. Francis of Assisi envious, I said what all good husbands say under similar conditions, "Yes, Dear."
The next three hours found me outside, vigorously washing Old Nelly.
Just as I was putting the finishing touches on the wax job, I felt something cold on the back of my neck. At first, being engrossed in my chore, I did not pay any attention to it.
Then another - and another - and another. Then came the rain.
Glancing at my freshly waxed car, I saw drops of water cheerfully dancing on my mirrored hood. The thunder sounded like a heavenly giggle and before I could make it to the door, I was completely drenched.
Ducking inside out of the rain, I was greeted by my wife who calmly asked, "Oh, my. Is it raining?"
"Of course it's raining," I shivered, "I've just washed my car."
As I was drying off, I chuckled to myself as a favorite Bible verse came to mind.
"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28 KJV.)
Two things in life are for certain.
One: things will always fall apart.
Two: God can always take those things that fall apart and pull them together for His honor and glory - come rain or shine.
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