HOPKINS COUNTY, KY (1/28/12)—Finding the “self” hidden within each person, or at least trying to define just what the “self” is, has remained a poignant topic of intellectual discussion for thousands of years. Though this search has gone under many names and has been presented in a variety of mediums (paintings, writing, philosophy, etc.), searching and possibly finding the “self” is ultimately a journey that each individual must choose to experience on their own—and that’s exactly what led one area woman to an important self-realization. However, as she explained of her findings to SurfKY News, choosing to find yourself and accepting who you are is inexorably linked to your relationship with others and the environment in which you live.

Along with being a native of Madisonville, KY, a 1995 alumni of Madisonville North-Hopkins High School, an animal lover (the proud “mother” of three dogs and three cats), a veterinary technician for 7 years at Pennyrile Animal Clinic, a traveler, a writer/columnist for SurfKY News, a 14-year wife to area resident Roger Miller, and a life-coach with New Beginnings Life Coaching LLC., Gayla Miller has is also an outgoing and spiritual person looking to bring her vision of peaceful “self-discovery” and individual guidance to the world at large.

Yet how does she plan to achieve these goals? The answer: through her one-on-one support as a life coach and her first published book, A Course in Forgiveness.

Though Gayla says she has little knowledge of textbook psychological techniques—or any scientific school of thought for that matter—she explains that her methods don’t necessarily require these skills. In fact, much of what Gayla has come to understand as both life coach and new author have come from her own self-discoveries.

A proclivity and fondness for writing was first inspired by her grandmother, Minnie Baker, when Gayla was merely 10 years of age. As Gayla explains, Minnie was active in church, was a devout Christian, and spent much of her time writing essays for her congregation. While writing similar essays during this time spawned a relatively brief interest in poetry and short stories for Gayla in her teens, it was her later experiences with an ever-growing anxiety that led to her work as a life coach and the writing of her book.

“I went on a road of self-discovery about a year-and-a-half ago,” says Gayla. “I always had problems with anxiety and it got to a point where my anxiety peaked. I lost someone very close to me and other things in my life brought my anxiety to an all-time high. I wanted to find out why I was so anxious. I wasn’t living life to the fullest; I was living within an existence that I had created. I started worrying a lot when I was fifteen. I would worry about grades, about being popular, and I carried it into adulthood. But once I walked onto that road of self-discovery, I realized that I was harboring un-forgiveness; I was holding grudges.”

However, knowing that the anxiety was caused by several unresolved feelings merely led Gayla to the half-way point in her road of self-discovery. Now she had to figure out how to forgive. She had to figure out how to heal.

“I was brought up in a Christian home and I heard about forgiveness, but it’s a hard concept to apply in real life, so I began to venture out in an attempt to learn about true forgiveness first hand,” says Gayla. “Part of what I realized is that we have all offended, but we have all been the offender as well. There have been times in my life where I have hurt people deeply. There have been times in my life where I let people down as well. Another aspect I’ve came to understand, which is talked about in a chapter of my book called ‘Born Free,’ is based around the innocence of a child. A newborn baby is pure and everyone has been that ‘innocent newborn,’ but life has a tendency to create who we eventually become. We lose that innocence because of life’s heaviness, and it was this concept helped me to separate the offense from the offender. My grandmother used to say, ‘Don’t say that you dislike someone. Dislike what they do.’”

Though Christianity stands as Gayla’s first experience with religion and spirituality, a variety of beliefs and interfaith ideals now play a role in her overall outlook on life. While a single God is at the heart of her belief system, Gayla says that she believes a variety of people have spoken the truth throughout time. In fact, quotes from many varying religious leaders or figures are quoted in Gayla’s upcoming book.

“It’s a spiritual book and it deals with God, but I have friends of different faiths, so I wanted it to be for everyone,” says Gayla. “There have been many wise people born within this world and they have made a difference. It’s about the teachings more than the ‘religion.’”

Making things even more accesible for readers, Gayla says that the book is relatively short in length and easy to understand.

In regard to her main mission in writing the book, Gayla explains that, “I want people to read the book and learn the importance of why you should forgive someone, to understand that forgiveness is for you as much as it is for someone else if not more. When you don’t forgive someone, you become like the person who has offended you. If you harbor that anger and resentment and bitterness, then you can eventually become like the offender. It also keeps you from being in the present moment; you won’t be one-hundred percent in the moment and loved ones can suffer.”

Though a definite release for her new book, A Course in Forgiveness, has yet to be announced by Publish America, Gayla says that several appearances and book signings will accompany its official publication. What’s more, Gayla plans on writing another piece in the future.

As more information becomes available, please look to SurfKY News for the latest updates.

If you would like to learn more about life-coaching or Gayla’s business, New Beginnings Life Coaching LLC.—which offers specialized, one-on-one support for those suffering from anxiety or similar conditions—please visit the following link: http://www.newbeginningslifecoaching.net/.

You can also check out Gayla’s column, “New Beginnings with Gayla,” via www.SurfKY.com.

Luke Short
SurfKY News
Photos taken by SurfKY News contributor, Jeff Harp

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