daves says 2016 bKENTUCKY (5/13/18) — In this week’s Dave Says, Dave discusses children helping parents.

Dear Dave,
My parents have always been bad with money, and recently they lost their home to foreclosure. They found another place to live, and they both work, but since the foreclosure my dad has been asking me for money on a regular basis.

He tries to make me feel guilty, and he calls or asks me to come over to talk about it when my mom isn’t home. He even asked for half of the bonus I received at work the other day. I know they need help, but I’m not sure what to do.

Eli

Dear Eli,

I can tell you love your parents, because you’re looking for the best way to help them. I think your brain knows what to do, but your heart is having a hard time doing it.

The first thing you’re going to have to accept is your father is being very manipulative right now. Put an end to these private meetings and phone calls once and for all. If he wants to talk, make sure he understands it will only happen with your mom in the room.

Second, understand there’s nothing wrong with helping your folks get back on their feet. However, any financial help you give them should be temporary in nature, and it should be a gift. Don’t get involved in giving them money every month just because they raised you. That’s not how this works. When you permanently subsidize someone, you take away their dignity. You also change their status, and compromise their ability to stand on their own two feet.

In return, you should let them know you expect them to work toward changing their financial behaviors with the help of a quality financial counselor — one with the heart of a teacher. It’s often difficult for parents to accept advice and suggestions from their own children, but it’s for their own good. Sit down with them, and gently let them know how much you care, and how much you want better, happier lives for them.

God bless you all, Eli.

— Dave

Dave Ramsey is CEO of Ramsey Solutions. He has authored seven best-selling books, including The Total Money Makeover. The Dave Ramsey Show is heard by more than 13 million listeners each week on 585 radio stations and multiple digital platforms. Follow Dave on the web at daveramsey.com and on Twitter at @DaveRamsey.

SurfKY News
 
Disclaimer: The content supplied by columnists and letters to the Editor on this site does not in any way, shape or form, implied or otherwise, necessarily express or suggest endorsement or support of any of such content, statement, or opinions therein. SurfKY News does not necessarily adhere to or endorse content provided by outside non-staff sources.

sitelogosm© Copyright 2008 - 2018 SurfKY News Group, Inc. All rights reserved.
This material may not be published, broadcast, or rewritten without permission.

Click here to subscribe to receive daily updates by email.

Most Read This Week

May 22, 2018 12805

City of Madisonville Hiring 5 School Resource Officers

by Doreen Dennis, SurfKY News
May 22, 2018 7777

Decisive Primary Victories for Rice, Nunley, Allen, Vincent, Smith

by Rita Dukes Smith, SurfKY News Director
May 22, 2018 7220

Monday Night Pursuit Ends in Arrest

by Doreen Dennis, SurfKY News
May 22, 2018 6958

Early Morning Shots Fired Investigation Leads to Henderson Teen's Arrest

by Doreen Dennis, SurfKY News

Most Read This Month

May 14, 2018 42341

UPDATE: HCSO Releases Names from Nebo Road Double Fatality

by Doreen Dennis, SurfKY News

Weather brought to you by

84°
28°
°F | °C
Mostly Cloudy
Humidity: 48%
Wed
Mostly Cloudy
67 | 86
19 | 30
Thu
Partly Cloudy
65 | 86
18 | 30
Fri
Partly Cloudy
64 | 90
17 | 32
Sat
Thunderstorms
70 | 85
21 | 29

Stories Trending Today

Taylor
May 22, 2018 12805

City of Madisonville Hiring 5 School Resource Officers

by Doreen Dennis, SurfKY News
election results 11 9
May 22, 2018 7777

Decisive Primary Victories for Rice, Nunley, Allen, Vincent, Smith

by Rita Dukes Smith, SurfKY News Director
Goff Chester
May 22, 2018 7220

Monday Night Pursuit Ends in Arrest

by Doreen Dennis, SurfKY News
shots fired
May 22, 2018 6958

Early Morning Shots Fired Investigation Leads to Henderson Teen's Arrest

by Doreen Dennis, SurfKY News

Market Report

Market Report brought to you by